I was listening to some religious speaker, and he asked a question that got me thinking about my choice of friends. He said, "Jesus wants to be our best friend, but we have to want that friendship more than anything else." I changed the channel at that point, trying to find a channel my daughter could watch, but that question stuck with me for a while. I tried to figure out, in my mind, what direction he was going with that statement. Did he talk about getting rid of addictions that kept Christ at a distance? Was he talking about not giving into peer pressure? Not letting other people pressure us into doing things that put distance between us and our Heavenly Father? Maybe it was all about self esteem. When we don't believe we are worthy of his love and friendship, we can become depressed or "numb" and unable to feel his love. I came up with many directions that statement could have taken the man who was speaking, but after following all those threads, and measuring them against my life for a while, another thing occured to me. If I was with a friend, doing what I normally did with that friend, would I want to invite Jesus along with us? Would I be ashamed to call them a friend? Would they (or I) do and say the same things if He was there?
I have had a lot of friends who fit my parents' mold (White, LDS, and followers of the Word of Wisdom), but most of my friends didn't. The surprising thing is that almost all of the ones who were "good" hurt me physically, mentally or emotionally, and most of the "bad" ones made me feel good about myself.
Looking back, I probably wouldn't have asked Jesus to come to the drinking parties I attended, but I would want him there when I drove my drunk friends home(sober). I wouldn't want him to witness the times I gave into a "good" boyfriend's pressure to "prove I love him", but I would have gladly invited him along on my dates with the "bad" boys who treated me and my body with respect. I would not want Him to see me allowing my LDS friends/family/boyfriends to abuse me and my kids over the years, but I know he celebrates the friends I have kept over the years despite the fact that they don't fit the mold EVERYONE expects them to fit into.
There are many relationships I wish I could change. I wish I had been courageous enough to stand up for the "underdog" who was being treated badly by my "friends". I wish I had been able to distance myself from the "friends" who put down my clothes, hair, parenting style, etc., all in the name of "trying to help me". I wish I had realized how lucky I was to have so many friends who saw the good in me, who uplifted me, and made my life better just for knowing them. I let my family and peers instill a belief that "only the bad kids like you, because you act like them". Only now do I see that as a compliment. I would rather be "bad" and treat others kindly, than to be "good" and treat others like they aren't good enough.
When I picture Jesus "cruising around" with me and my other friends, I see my honest, trustworthy, slightly odd friends, not the ones who say one thing, and do another. If I had to choose an eternal friend, it would probably be one of the ones my parents didn't approve of.
How about you? Do your friends measure up to Christ's standards? Or would you "forget to send them an invitation" to the party because Jesus would be there, and you would be ashamed of what they might do or say? Are your friendships Eternal or worldly?
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