Tara & My Suz

Suzanne Price was one of the funniest people I knew during my one year at Sugar-Salem High School. She was dating a guy whose locker was next to mine, so I spent a lot of time observing her, but not a lot of time really getting to know her. I was in a new school with "strangers", and was just trying to get through the year and graduate.
A few years passed, my nephew's biological father was Suz's brother-in-law, and Suz had a baby, so my sister, nephew, and I went to see her. By then, she was living in Idaho Falls, near the YMCA, and had already battled Cancer and beaten it once. I didn't know that then. I just knew she was very thankful for her life and her child. I still didn't take a lot of time talking to her that night. She was just a woman I went to school with, that now was married to the man she used to date in high school. I was very impressed by her though. She was so upbeat, and still cracked me up.
Over the next several years, I would run into her once in a while. Sometimes I would say hello and keep walking, and sometimes I would just keep walking. I figured she wouldn't remember me, and even if she did, it wasn't like we were friends or anything. She was just a woman I went to school with who happened to be the mother of my nephew's biological cousins. She was still very upbeat, and made me laugh, but I didn't make any effort to get to know her better.
Then fate stepped in, and she moved into Wagon Wheel Apartments. I had lived there most of my adult life, and was SOOO excited to see someone familiar to talk to. She had been through a very painful divorce, and her mother was going through some of the same kind of stuff, so we all kind of bonded on the "Men are Jerks" basis at first.
I knew some of her secrets before she even told them to me because the rumor mill is so strong in that community, but until she told her story, and her family's story, I didn't want to believe the rumors.
I had heard there was a lot of abuse of many different kinds going on in her life from an early age, and that her mother and sister had suffered some of the same abuse, but until we got to know each other REALLY well, she kept most of the pain inside. Anyone who met her or even knew her for years would have a hard time believing all she went through. She was just so HAPPY and POSITIVE and UPBEAT all the time.
I will never forget the day her mother died. For the first time in all the years I knew her, Suz was "down". I don't just mean she was sad, devastated, or depressed about her mother being gone. The light was gone. She was as dead as her mother. It was like a gate opened, and for the first time in over 14 years, she let me see her "bad life". Not that she had done anything wrong, but the things that she had been through that were so bad. She poured out her heart to me about all the things that had happened, and how it had affected her and her family. She told me about having Cancer shortly after we got out of high school, and how she had beat it with natural cures, because her mother had such strong faith in them, yet her mother couldn't be saved.
I got a glimpse into how horrible her life was, then {BLINK} she was moving on, feeling better (at least outwardly), and ready to face the world again. She was the strong one, helping everyone around her deal with their challenges. She was so funny, upbeat, and just one of those people who was always looking at the cup as completely full when everyone else was debating whether it was half empty or half full.
We shared a lot during the next few years. One favorite pastime was going to the local bar to sing karaoke. Her boyfriend ran the music for a while, and though we didn't drink, we always left there "drunk" with laughter and silliness. Another time we brought home some Tiramasu from Johnny Carinos, and ate it off each other's chest. From that point, we were Tara and Suz with the friends who knew about it. We were friends, and so much more.
In 2002 she found out the leukemia was back. She started the same treatment she had used when she was younger, and was confident it would work, but in May, she was walking up the stairs to her apartment and her spleen burst. She called an ambulance, and was rushed into emergency surgery with a slim chance of survival because her blood counts were so low from the leukemia. No one had a chance to say goodbye before they took her away. Soon after the surgery, her ex went to court to get custody of the kids. She spent about 3 months in the hospital trying to battle the side effects of not having a spleen complicated by the leukemia and her diabetes, then came home to continue fighting the leukemia the "natural way". Then in November the doctor told her she had to have chemo and a bone marrow transplant or she would die. She spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and Valentines Day in the hospital fighting for her life on a daily basis because the treatments for the Cancer were causing complications with her diabetes, and vice versa.
She came home in Feb 2003 "in remission". She got a job, and spent 3 months fighting to get her kids back, finally getting granted physical custody "for whatever period she remained healthy". She thanked God for getting her through it all, for the ability to work, and for allowing her to have her kids back.
On New Years Day 2005, she found out the leukemia was back. She went back to Salt Lake to have more chemo and another bone marrow transplant. It didn't make her as sick this time, and she didn't lose as much hair, but by Feb 1st, the doctors had done all they could do, and the "rogue cells" had taken over her body, so she came home to live life to the fullest for as long as possible. Her job was gone, her kids were gone (not physically, just custody), and her house was gone. She thanked God for the chance to say goodbye and that she could plan her own funeral.
I was sitting in my living room on February 23rd, and got a call from a friend. She was calling to find out what happened with Suz. I thought she had just found out about the latest bout with Cancer, so I started talking about it, and she blurted out, "I just can't believe she is gone! When I saw the paper this morning..." I started crying and ran to the door to get my paper, and there it was; Suz had passed away on the 20th. I was shocked and devastated. After all, I was sure that when her light left this world, there would be some kind of sign. An earthquake or a power outage or something. How could she just slip away unnoticed after being such a bright part of my world for so long?
She tried to teach me to live in the moment, not to re-live the past or fear the future. She taught me that "just a girl you once knew" can become your whole world and change your life forever. Most of all, she taught me not to lose a chance to get to know "just a girl".